Questions and Sunrises

A lot is happening to me.

And there are many questions now that I feel like I need answers to .....








And I'm convinced that the SUNRISE I saw this morning......was
my Jesus smiling down on me.....
and I smiled back :o) :o)

Driveway Concerts

I got out of my car tonight...and looked up into the sky.

It was so bright with the moon's light, I could see the stars PERFECTLY!


Something in me wanted to sit on my driveway.
So I did. :o)

I sat there legs crossed
head tilted up with the moonlight kissing my face


AND I STARTED SINGING!!!! hahaa!

This song..

"You are so good to me, you heal my broken heart
You are my Jesus who loves me...
You died upon the cross, you lead me to the truth
You are my Father in heaven...

You are beautiful, my sweet sweet song...

You are my strong melody
You are my dancing rhythm
You are my perfect rhyme
and I want to sing forever"

:o)

It was beautiful. HE IS BEAUTIFUL!

I want to sit on my driveway more often!
You should too!!!

BLESS Y'ALL!

Smiles all around

"Preach the Gospel always...and when necessary, use words."
- St. Francis of Assisi.

The gospel has been beautifully exposed to me once again. And I am frozen.

It has been made clear to me why I am where I am............
There is nothing fulfilling about ballet....except glorifying my Jesus and for
Him to glorify Himself through me!

Dance has been so hard for me lately. And I guess you could say it has been a
battle of the mind. But, I realize it's all for eternity. For souls.

And I'm smiling :o)

because.......

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see
him now, you believe in him and are FILLED with an expressible and glorious JOY!"
1 Pet 1:8

and it's that JOY that gives me strength :o)

It's so beautiful.
Sooo so so beautiful is the plan that God has for our lives!!!!!!!

Just one year ago I was in such a whirlwind of love's highs and lows.....misplacing
my affections, my hope, and my strength.

I am in AWE at what my Jesus has made of my life thus far, and I wonder...just wonder :o)
WHAT He will bring in the next couple of days...weeks...and years!!
I wonder.

I wonder where it is.
When it is.
Who it is.
What it is.

I don't even know.

But YOU know! <--- THAT makes me smile :o)



Guys...............I am in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WITH LOVE ITSELF!!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I just want to be a little kid again :o)

Climb trees

Run through sprinklers

Receive lollipops at the bank

Roll down hills

Ride bikes



just seems like fun :o)

Humble Listening....

Who can paint the song of a bird? Of what shape are whispers in the ear? What color are promises? You can't photograph the spoken thought. It must be heard in the heart. Words spoken must be embraced in the mind and spirit - there they are treasured and can last a lifetime.

Listening can humble you, because at times it will make you feel blind. How many times have we prayed "Lord speak to me.." and without even opening our ears we begin looking for a sign. It's harder to believe what someone says, than to believe what we see with our eyes. But that is what the Lord has called us to do.

{We live by faith, not by sight.}

The next time my eyes crave something to see- I must remember the things that I touch and see are temporary; but the Word of God stands forever. It will be a discipline at first, naturally. But it takes nothing but a mustard seed of faith, a little bit of hope and a little bit of a courage.

Oh Lord, I fix my eyes and eyes of my heart on YOU!
You deserve it.
You want it.

February 9th, 2006

O Lord, I want to bless your heart above all else. Last night I asked you for a secure, undistracted devotion towards You and Your will and Your word. I want to be free from the concerns of the world and of my flesh. (1 Corinthians 7:32) I'm beginning to understand that I must renew my mind daily if I am going to have a renewing of my reactions to unmet expectations. And how many of those do I have? Plenty! (Colossians 3:1-2) I must take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ! Everyday, Lord, You reveal to me how limited I am and how extravagent and unbelievable Your grace is for me!! You show me people...You show me passions...and You show me Your vulnerable heart for my own. And it's beautiful.

I wonder sometimes about the man God will lead me to! Wondering about - what he looks like...what he likes to do...what he's passionate about...and what he's thinking about. I find myself sometimes asking the Lord what makes his heart glad? What breaks it? And I would pray for him! Pray that wherever he was...the Lord would let him know that he is not alone. I thank the Lord for the man he is today...and the man He is constantly forming him to be. He is the Lord's! And one day...we'll serve Him together! :o)

Bethany, he is at peace. I will bring you two together in my perfect timing. He's just not ready for you yet! And neither are you for him! I am preparing and forming him, just as I am with you! Just wait patiently....great things are in store!

Ha......funny thought just entered my mind! I am having an arranged marriage. .......and I have the ultimate match maker. ;o)

I'll close with this. But to encourage those who are only going to be reminded of their singleness this valentine's day...you have a Lover! And I can't even describe to you His absolute desire and compassion over you!! He fights for your heart! You know that quote - "If you're going to hurt someone, hurt the one that they love...." satan is at war with our Jesus!!! And he only attacks you because he wants to hurt our fighter.....but praise the Lord and the victory that comes with the blood of Jesus Christ and redemption!! He already has the victory! :o) ...........so be reassured..........you have an incredible Lover!

"Guard your heart. There is a treasure...a treasure I am drawing out. Wait on me. Do not leave my courts. I will carry you. It is precious. It is truly great. Greater than you now know. I am working. I am preparing you. How? You must pursue my righteousness and as you do, my trail of glory will follow you. Choose the truth, rebuke the lies. Cast them away, and speak my word. Proclaim my praise both in the crevices of your beautiul heart and in the presence of the great assembly. I will wrap you and consume you with the greatest love man will ever know. In this happening, my love will shape you. You will awaken, in the perfection of my will.. In the perfection of my timing...your love will bloom. Wait on me. Wait on me. Hold my hand; I have planned wonderful things for you. Let it begin tonight...."
- Quoted.My Captivator,

Hold me captive to Your everlasting love.

Clear Colors

I stand amazed, at the grace of Jesus.


I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.
I now live by {presence}
I now learn by {faith}
I now love by {patience}
I now lift by {prayer}
and labor in {power.}

My pace is set.

My mind is fixed.

My goal is heaven.

My road is narrow.

My way is rough.

My God reliable.

My mission clear.




And when He comes....
He will not have a hard time recognizing me.

The colors will be clear.





O I am READY :o)!!!!!

Indeed...The Day will Come

Imagine.

It's your wedding day, girls. You wake up - lieing in bed...reflecting on the way it all happened. The Lord's providence and faithfulness
proving true once again! He is your's...and you are his. You ponder His ways- the way he brought you two together - the way He conquered
and worked out every detail of your life 'til this moment.
You rememebered all the times you questioned when this day would come.

And here it is.

You lie in marvel. Marvel of His hand. His perfect hand in the pattern of bringing you both together. You lie amazed at how he formed
you both so perfectly for eachother. Containing nothing but excitement and thankfulness - you want to jump out of bed and PRAISE
Him for it all! (and all that it will be)

You remember the battle. You were at such a young age...and He rescued you from heartache and hardness. He won your heart. And you
gave up your heart's desires...your heart's dreams...and cried out for His. And He delighted in the offering. It was far from easy. It took
many nights in tears of desperation. Desperate for His love. (Unfailing LOVE)

He never let go of you. No matter how many times you ran and tried your own way...and no matter how hopeless it felt; He kept you in
His arms and overwhelmed you with his peace and grace and formed you and refined you through he fire to come out as a precious
....beloved....jewel...of fire.

He called you to such a high calling of purity. And He protected that - even when you felt like giving your heart to the man you
preferred. He was there protecting it for "him"

He blew you away.

He promised it would be beautiful. And here it is. The beauty of it all - making two become one. For His sake.

You never dreamed the man you would come to love would be so in love with Him, too. But that's what united your love for one another.
The love you both had for the Lord. This is what you had been praying for. What you had been praying for him. And now both of your
flames would unite together as one to burn brighter than ever!!

You know it will be big. Beautiful. Sweet. Precious. Perfect. And you are overflowing to the brim with thankfulness. You stand in awe
of His providing hand. Here is a couple...willing to be used by Jesus...to radiate both of their flames to shine where only darkness is known.

You jump out of bed.

God's glory never leaving your thoughts.

You bubble with excitement as the hour gets closer - the hour you will see the man you'll call your husband. {beloved}


You stand behind the sanctuary doors. With family and friends sitting on the other side of the door who anxiously await the beautiful
providence and glory of the Lord to be shown. You are filled with gratitude for these people, tears start to make their way down your
cheeks as you remember their love and support and the witnesses that they've been -- seeing the two of you grow in your zealous for Christ.

The man of your life holding your arm around his. The arm gripping tighter as the music begins. He says a prayer for you under his
breath. and kisses your cheek...and leaves it warm on your face as he smiles with assurance in his eyes that "this is it". The tears never
stop ;o) you can't take your eyes off of him. The man you had admired your whole life...standing here waiting to give you away. What an
absolute offering. Your heart swelled with joy to know this man standing beside you was your father!

The last bridesmaid makes her way down the aisle.

You close your eyes.

The grip getting tighter.

The flame burning brighter than ever.

Your eyes meet a few of those who were most dear to you...smiling and glowing with grattitude.

THEN YOU SEE HIM!


His eyes bursting with anticipation. His smile from ear to ear and his countenance glowing brighter than ever before! He sees you
walking down in full bloom of purity and innocence. He blushes. You smile....filled with overwhelming joy as you see him bubble out
with laughter. You know he has NEVER looked at a girl like he is looking at you now!

Everything that you had ever stored up.....was now his.

Your father untangling his arm from yours...he faces you and holds both of your hands.....whispers in your ear "Precious girl, it's
time...I love you!" kisses your cheek again.....now his eyes are filled up with tears...and you squeeze his hands in response to his
overwhelmed heart.

You take HIS hand. You both say your vows...promising faith.....and choosing LOVE FOREVER.
The paster announces you both husband and wife and allows "the kiss"
And what a beautiful image of Christ taking his own.
He takes you for himself.
You take him for yourself.

You are one.

:o)

You both thank the Lord for His love and faithfulness....and you pray for your marriage that it will be devoted to Christ alone and
that is would be a living example of Christ and his bride.




Surrender your love to your Creator. He will bless you (and bless him) and will blow you away!!!!!! Trust him with your heart!!!!!!!!!!!
Purity is so precious. Let Him be your protector.

Preparation

I feel like my heart is being prepared for something, but not sure what yet.

I like this time of wonder though...it's good to be aware.



Thank you, Jesus :o)

More Than Words

November 5, 2006

I had a dream about him. And all I remember of it was me dancing and then suddenly I was on my knees with my long brown hair in my face - crying and then he came from behind me and brushed my hair back from my face as he lifted me up and looked straight into my eyes. For a long time he didn't say anything and then he said, "You are so beautiful, Bethany!" And then I don't remember much after that except embrace.

I don't know what I remembered this dream- but I did. It kind of reminds me of how my Heavenly Father comes and wipes away my tears and clears away my heart from my face and lifts me up from my brokeness and into His arms. His embrace speaks more than what words would say, I love you, my beloved.

It gives me chills.

Step into the Rain

I was walking out of Jazz & Java today...and it began to rain.

I looked around the parking lot....a few ladies, who probably just had their lunch break, were fleeing the scene to their Nissans to rescue their poofy hair.

I walked slowly.....each step...my feet completely drenched along with my Missimo flip-flops.
Not a care.

The sun was still shining...and as my mother always says ;o) "There's a rainbow somewhere!"
[What a promise.]

I didn't hurry to my car.


But looked up.



Often, rain is considered to be a bad case.
Like in a movie- the saddest scenes are always in the rain.
Like in a song- "Why does it always have to rain on me?" - Travis

It symbolizes trials in life, sadness, and negativity. [But the rainbow!] Don't forget the rainbow!!! It spoke in volumes today!

I have always picked out the Brilliance of the Sunshine in my life but never considered the Beauty of the Rainy Seasons. Not only can there be joy in the Rainy Season...but it brings renewal...it refreshes....it restores and nourishes the dead and brings Abundant Life!

This is a new way of thinking for me.

Instead of focusing on how wet I am (or am getting)
I need to learn to focus my attention on the growth in the earth. (and my heart!)
To realize the hope of that which will spring forth because of it. Look deeper, friend!



Next time you're running to your car........and it's raining...
Don't run.

Just look up.

Look into the face of Jesus.
Praise Him. :o)