Proverbs on the mind...

Actively Trusting

To take a risk means to (actively trust.)

This is my active trust to You, O Lord.




I am standing on the abundant provision of Your grace.
(Romans 5:12;17)

Overwhelmed Goodness!!!

Ministry is in the past.....and Ministry is ahead of me.




I understood.
I understood what it meant to be overwhelmed today.

My trainee season has just come to an end, thank you Jesus!
And I have spent the past 3 years ministering with amazing
people to ALL kinds of people groups I didn't even have
relations with before I came here! (He expanded my heart!!!)





So in many ways- I was on this emotional rollercoaster...
walking into the elementary school we were dancing at
- thoughts like
"this is the last time I'll do this....I'll do that....I dance with
that person.....I'll see this"




And today, I was asked to give a testimony before we danced.

Speaking?
In...in front of ...

PEOPLE????



I can't!!!! I am too wrapped up in this being "my last time" to do
so many things! I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK!

and please realize, I am not good with words......
................that are VOCAL!

I can't for some reason get out what I want to say...
And then I beat myself up for not saying what I really
WANT to say...instead, I say something entirely
different.



.........

It was short.

It was bold. <-----not of my nature It was overwhelming

I still feel like I didn't say enough...and the enemy will
do that! Make me feel like I didn't say the right thing
or didn't really know what I was talking about.....



And you know what?


I was certain.
SO certain.



Certain enough to where water rose in my eyes as
an OVERFLOW of the Lord's love for these kids and
adults in front and people in the wings beside me!!!!!!!!!!!!




He is to be praised!
He is to be lifted high!


Oh God................YOU ARE GOOD!!!!!
I have sensed this all along, but I am SAYING IT NOW!


THAT YOU ARE GOOD!!!!!!!!!





What an awesome feeling.
To be overwhelmed.

Not stress-related at all.


But God's heart-related!


I felt it, you guys.







I can't even write it.



AND THEN I HAD TO DANCE AFTERWARDS!


Laughter only spilled from my heart the entire
ballet though. hahaha, only because of too many
bloopers and mess-ups to count.......and because
I was enjoying the presence of the Lord AND
dancing with people I loved that could not be
expressed in words!!!!



















His Goodness to me is Overwhelming

Failures of the Flesh & Heart

"If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin"
- Brooke Fraser


I am puting myself away tonight. This life...the one I know..and the one I don't.......is all in His hands. I forget the reference..but the verse that says "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength and my portion forever".....will not leave my mind tonight.

And I can testify that this week....and many before this one...my flesh and my heart failed me. And I have a feeling that I need to just be obedient and let the Lord have it all.

Pray for me.

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee

I'll be found in You

when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in YOU
still standing when the sky rolls up
and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in YOU

there's distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows is easier to stay
but I've head of rumors of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way